Lindsay Lohan Continues To Make My Life

 Once again, Lindsay Lohan continues to make my life amazing.

Read on to see why Lindsay Lohan screenshots are becoming a rare commodity!

In addition to her club opening in Greece (creatively called Lohan) with a guy she keeps making out with and saying she's not dating, and cultivating a fantastic worldly accent, she has been delving into humanitarian work. What does this involve, you might ask? A lot. A whole fucking lot.  First of all, she has been trying to deliver energy drinks to Syrian refugee camps in Turkey. During a press conference she gave her reasoning, it went something like this: supplies are so low on food and water, donating anything at all would be helpful. Also, she doesn't mention this energy drink she's donating, Mintanine, is being served at her new nightclub. She's basically a saint.

She also does this thing where she hashtags the phrase "The world is bigger than five" and nobody really talks about it very much. I know politics are not the point of this site, but stick with me for a second here. It is apparently a phrase the Turkish president likes to say about 5 permanent members of the NATO security council. So Lilo thinks she's going to...what? Make this big political change for Turkey to be accepted into the council by posting selfies with a fucking hashtag? I love the shit out of this girl. She really gets politics and social change. She's a dynamo.
And the even weirder part is I went to go screenshot an example of a selfie she took using snapchat filters then added that phrase and ALL HER INSTAGRAM PICTURES ARE DELETED.

When checked Jan 5, all posts were deleted from Ms. Lohan's official Instagram account

This makes the point of this entire post (which I have not even gotten to yet, if you're keeping track) even more exciting. Interesting, even.
On Jan 2nd 2016 she posted this amazing masterpiece

Jan 2 screenshot of Lindsay Lohan's Instagram

If you know anything about me, you may know this got me pretty excited. I was nearly in tears, to be honest, about the thought of a Lindsay Lohan humanitarian poetry book. Every line is daring, evocative, and original. I mean, instead of the standard 3 dot ellipsis, she picks a brave 5 dots. What is your favorite part?

So to make things more interesting, she deleted that original post. Should it be noted that she kept up the twitter version? Does that make things more saucy? Anyway, she then reposted the same poem the next day:

Jan 3 screen shot

The new post has the same poem, but a more cryptic caption. It said:

 *prayer hands* LL book - truth is being honest #giveback

I would like to take a moment to, first of all, bless the fates that brought me into this world at the same time as Lindsay Lohan and instagram. Second, I want to just comment a little bit on this move. What has changed from first to last? She still has the book mention in there, but its a bit more discrete, which as you know, is her go-to. Then she defines truth as being honest. Again, not really sure what we're getting out of this. Did someone thing she was lying about...her book? ISIS? Blinds? What was she being truthful about now that she wasn't before? Does anyone have any good ideas? And finally, that hastag. Ohhhhhh that hashtag. I love it so much. She's so preachy about what a good humanitarian she is. It's almost as if she is so overwhelmed by her goodness that she is trying to inspire others to give in the same ways she does. Well Lindsay, I'm trying my best. I just bought a case of Monster energy drink, put a sticker on in that read "for refugees" and mailed it to Turkey. But I just feel like I could be doing more. Maybe two cases of energy drinks?

But now all the posts are gone. All the ones of her biting her fingers. All the ones documenting her bravely surviving cutting her toe on a boat. All the ones of her poorly photoshopped thighs. All the ones of her disgusting Russian fiance partying, then publicly begging him to come home one drunken night. All gone like the wind. Its all just so mysterious. 

Yours with love, 

- Genesis Pulsifer