What Was The Best Pauly Shore Movie?

Since everyone knows Pauly Shore is the greatest actor/comedian of our generation, I have been tasked with deciding which of his films was the best. I am no Pauly Shore expert, but I did say he was my favorite actor in my 8th grade yearbook so...that's something. In fact, my bestfriend Ilana said the same thing and we were accused of copying each other even though we did NOT discuss it. People can be so jealous.

Pauly Shore has made a living (I hope...is he doing ok?) off of playing the surfer-dude-stoner-type, perpetually idiotic buffoon who happens to stumble into the role of heroic protagonist. In movie after movie. But the movies all end up amazing. He just brings the same amazing flair to every film.
So here are my nominations, in no particular order.



1. Jury Duty, 1995 (Trailer)

In this drama, Pauly plays Tommy Collins an exotic dancer who needs a place to stay, and so responds to a jury duty notice. He cuts a deal with the shitty hotel manager to advertise the hotel and ends up living pretty large. The female counterpart is Wayne's World's Tia Carrere who is obviously believable as his the surly smokin hottie who ends up falling for him.

Love Interest: Tia Carrere
Zany Buddy: Chihuahua named Peanut
Best Line- Tommy Collins: You're out of order! Nononononono....YOU'RE out of order! This whole courtroom's out of ORDER!
Second Best Line- Tommy Collins: Judge Ito! Have some of my burrito

2. Bio Dome, 1996 (Trailer)

I mean I cannot hide my joy about the combination of Pauly Shore (playing Bud "Squirrel" Macintosh) and Stephen Baldwin (playing Doyle "Stubs" Johnson) together in this comedy, probably Pauly Shore's most famous role. I don't really have time to get into the prolific actor that is Stephen Baldwin, and his prestigious career. That will just have to wait. Just know that these two stoners play off each other in a way that can only be described as magical
This movie is about the two lovable losers, who are road-tripping from their do-gooder girlfriends (the eteranlly sexy Joey Lauren Adams and cute but forgotten Theresa Hill) stop into what they think is a mall, but is really a science experiment. The two are locked in for a planned year, and all hell breaks loose. You guys. You guys. YOU GUYS! Kylie Minogue is in this fucking movie.

Love Interest: Joey Lauren Adams and kind of Kylie Minogue
Zany Buddy: Stephen Baldwin
Best Line- Bud: I'm so fat! Nobody likes me!
Second Best Line- Bud: To die and come back as a leotard
Second Best Line- Doyle: Miss? If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the  bottom or stirred?

3. Encino Man, 1992 (Trailer)

Dare I call this Pauly Shore's (Stoney Brown) breakout film? He teams up with Sean Astin (Dave) to play high school losers who discover the caveman Link, played by Brendan Fraser. They think Link is such a stud he will help them become cool, and they enroll him in high school. Hi-jinks ensue when Link is clearly not up to date on modern times. I want to say he also eats a frog. 

It was honestly hard to find a favorite quote. Not really because they all stick out, but they're so dated now.

Love Interest: Megan Ward 

Zany Buddy: I'm gonna say Brendan Fraser on this one, but Sean Astin definitely starred as well

Best Line- Dave: The only thing you ever cared about, Stoney, was nugs, chillin' and grindage. 

Second Best Line - Stoney: I'm not a geek! I'm a unique weasel.

4. Son-In-Law, 1993 (Trailer)

This is a hot contender for favorite film. Pauly Shore plays "Crawl", the rebellious 6th-year senior who meets Carla Gugino (Becca) as her dorm R.A. when she is a Freshman. He upturns her world when she brings him home to her small town farming community for the holidays, posing as her boyfriend. Her entire family, and high school sweetheart, hate him, and work together to devise a plan to get rid of him forever.

Love Interest: Carla Gugino (who had that rebellious glint in her eye that I respected)
Zany Buddy: Hard to say, I'm gonna go with Becca's little brother Zack (Patrick Renna from The Sandlot)
Best Line- Crawl: Cheek chillers. You Likes?

5. In the Army Now, 1994 (Trailer - wait this isn't the trailer its the entire film!)

Now everyone loves a good war comedy, don't they? And what two better leads than the two most gender-ambiguous 90s stars, Pauly Shore (Private First Class Bones Conway) and Andy Dick (Private Jack Kauffman). The sexual innuendo in those names just adds to the drama of the film. When I think phallic nuance, I think Andy Dick. A skinny, young, Andy Dick. Not to mention Lori Petty, who starred as Dottie in A League of Their Own, a film that was placed in the National Film Registry by congress for its cultural and historical significance. I love that she's in this. Hey, David Alan Grier even showed up. Its a real rag-tag gang of so-and-sos that join the army reserves because they have nowhere else to go, and end up in Libya as water boys. They call them jobnicks in Israel and they're not the type of people who should really see combat.  

Love Interest:  Lori Petty? I think they shared a kiss, can't remember
Zany Buddy: I can't write Andy Dick fast enough in this spot
Best Line - Bones: Look, you saw the goose, I'm the Walrus and Paul is dead. Now I'm trying to bury my beak here, so give it a rest!
Second Best Line - Bones: I've seen a lot of camel toes before, but never on a camel!
Third Best Line - Bones: Actually, I wish you WERE my "first" sergeant, but I already had a couple before you

SUMMARY
All in all I think we all win just by having watched these movies growing up. They definitely shaped my world view. I came into this assuming it would come down to Bio Dome and Son-In-Law. In The Army Now almost won me over for its amazing casting, but the lines and longevity of the other two really make them place higher. Bio Dome is much better known, and might have some of the greatest Pauly Shore lines. But Son-In-Law just has a special place in my heart. I'm going to go with Bio Dome. There. 

Longest. Post. Ever. 

- Genesis Pulsifer