Stop. The. Presses.

A Lifetime Britney Spears biopic? Stop le fucking presses. If ANYONE reading this new about this and didn't tell me you are all dead to me.

How overjoyed am I that the world is bringing together my favoritest of things? Britney spears and Lifetime movies?? Oh joy of joys. Its gonna be sooooooooooo good/bad. A person named Natasha Bassett will play Britney. They released some stills from shooting in honor of her 35th birthday tomorrow. That fellow above (Nathan Keyes) is obviously her first love, Justin Timberlake, who she dated when she was not a girl, not yet a woman. The actress looks more  like a young tara reid than Britney but OK. 

Obviously KFED will join the party. I wonder if he's going to do that super fat blow-up thing the real KFED did. I wonder if they'll cover his AMAZING rap song popoZão! I bet yes!! That guy looks nothing like KFED. Not nearly trashy enough. He doesn't look like he smells like menthols and a truck stop bathroom. 

Have you ever heard of a Lifetime movie that actually classes up the real story??

And don't THINK I've forgotten what they wore on their wedding day. It was track suits. The mens suits all said PIMPS on then (except for the dads, that cleverly said PIMP DADDY

 In case you can't tell, I've gotten so excited I'm reverting to caps to emphasize my words. I am v. excited. This will be sooooooo good/bad. How can you summarize such an epic life in a 1.5-2 hour movie? Badly, that's how.

Forever yours,
- Genesis Pulsifer